Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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