Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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