if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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