No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
