there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Who wears a wallet chain?!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
