Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
