Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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