It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
