He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
