We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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