But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
