I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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