I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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