I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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