i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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