we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
