It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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