Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
