I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
