So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
