were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
