I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize