I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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