White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
