I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
