I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
