You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
