yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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