I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
well you can't waste a boner
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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