She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
