DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
