Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
