know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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