Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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