She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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