So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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