i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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