So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
