i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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