I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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