Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
