So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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