you guys were way drunker than both of me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
