Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I could make wine with my vomit
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
