I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
...so i touched it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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