Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
