dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
