the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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