my room smells like sperm. sweet.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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