My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
