wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
