My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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