Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
