You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
