I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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