Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
