I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
