drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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