I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
