Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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