yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
