Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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